when the tides of life turns against you? will you ride them?

“Never explain yourself to anyone .Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it, and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it”

I’ve always accepted myself as I am. Self acceptance is a prerequisite for becoming a healthy, integrated person. I am okay. I’m not perfect, but I don’t have to justify my imperfections. I don’t even have to pledge to fix them. I just have to acknowledge that they exist.I never paid attention to criticism either. Long ago I read a quote that I followed through my life path it says “Act likes the weather that pays no attention to criticism “and I must admit I’m happy with my beliefs.

My wish list for 2009 was ONE only. To teach myself the art of “letting go “as it has been a problem in my life throughout the years.

I‘ve always beaten myself when someone entered my life and touched me then  left without reasons given .I spent days questioning  myself whys and maybes and the list of torturing myself was long  ! ….and it simply exhausted me and hurt me more.

 I found out that” letting go “was a big relief for me. I had to work hard with myself for this one small thing to reach my goal through 2009.

 I succeeded! I succeeded to accept the way that other people do things, and accept what happens in different situations. The truth that the only thing I can control Is, myself.

 I used more  often  in 2009 the word “WHATEVER ”, many friends found this word ridiculous., I find it not ridiculous at all , it just eliminate arguments , hard feelings and gives me  peace of mind .When I find myself misjudged or treated in a way I don’t deserve. I try to walk away fast and try not to let it affect me. I can’t control other persons behavior, change them, blame them .I know now that the outcomes aren’t in my hands and I accept it and whatever!

 For me it’s a victory I achieved through 2009 … I found out that the rules are VERY SIMPLE, if someone is ‘Into You’ he will let you know in NO UNCERTAIN TERM, and friends who love you will forgive you for the small mistakes you’ve done or said, add to this people who hardly know you and judge you,analyse every word you say or even don’t say . People who only crticize your looks ,habits or whatever you do , they shouldn’t have any place in my life. They simply don’t wish to accept  me as I am  .Their choice !!  My choice is if I still  wish to keep them around me or No!

I’ve always been a destiny woman .Luck or fate played a big role in my life.  I walked through my  entire  life planning ,worrying, passing sleepless nights  and I found at the end that something out of the blue just changes all my plans ..Most of the time this destiny took me exactly where I wanted to go …rarely and seldom has it taken me where I have to be and fighting not to be there …

But does destiny has something to do with romance too?  I always thought it has something  to do with romance and the game of love .I  believed  that there was no action plan to find love .Love isn’t a gambling table in Las Vegas where professional gamblers  put their dollars and do everything in their power to make a plan and increase odds in their favor. For me however it’s simpler to put my dollars in the crap table, roll my dice, wait and hope the best.

Love, romance or the perfect man were never for me like buying a dream house that needs an action plan. I thought that accidently or by coincident and by being myself the simple and spontaneous girl I will find the right mate. …..I heard before from my friends:

 “Where have all the good men (women) gone?” or, “All the good ones are taken!”

“I always answered that this wasn’t true. The good ones are still there and they will come to you when you searched the least and when it’s destined for you to meet them.

Was I wrong? Does finding the right person now need an action plan?

Do I have to read books about the rules of the do’s and don’ts on dates…Read more books about when and if you should call a man and many other plans about how to catch him and keep him and play hard to get !?Yes, I must know when to open up and when to play the mysterious.

 Serendipity the movie is unlikely to happen now, everything is getting more and more complicated.  

 So maybe I should change my beliefs for 2010 about romance and admit that there is nothing called love at first site. There‘s nothing called luck or fate .I should try more an action plan! The plan will be only 2 things:

1.  Not to open myself to anyone because even sincere feelings tend to be over stated and taken against me later. It pays to be subtle and mysterious.

2. Master my emotions. Wear a mask to hide my inside soul.

Now we come to the answer to my blog title “if the tides of life turns against you will you ride them? The answer is NO, I won’t!! I will just retreat or lie on my back and float.  

Welcome,to the love game ;-).

It’s time for change. It’s time to do things differently.

I got my bear hug today before the New Year from my old lady neighbor ,I love .She’s sick in the hospital .I felt safe in her arms when she held me close  and  she passed her fingers through my hair .My heart pounded , raced  skipped a beat . My eyes were trying   hard to control my falling tears .Life changes  suddenly ,but a person  like this wonderful lady are like rocks and they  are priceless. This bear ,tender ,warm hug I will keep it with me through  this new coming year …

I whispered in her ears before leaving  …”thank you for loving me “

 WITH HER I WON’T NEED A PLAN TO FIND LOVE;-)

This wonderful lady passed away on February 14 , 2010 , Valentine ‘s day !…I didn’t have time to hug her before she leaves , was planning to visit her same day and bought the flower and card  ! She took a peace of my heart with her ..May god rest her soul in peace !