spring has sprung

 

March!!! We went already at least once to outdoors cafes drinking our lattes, while both the cool air and the sun hit our face! The day is finally longer and we say goodbye to early darkness. Having said this, I can’t complain or whine like every year from freezing my butt in winter! So will have to find other subjects to whine about soon in my articles, beside men of coarse !! 😉

Getting back to our mild, unpredictable winter where rain washed snow so fast that we hardly saw it! As usual we human beings always find something to complain about, so this season the complaint was the frustration of car owners about the new law that requires to replace tires by winter ones .It’s true there was no need to do more expenses on winter tires, we could have survived safely with summer tires, but after all who could have predicted such mild winter!!

Couple of weeks ago  I was invited by a dear friend of mine up North , it was good to see snow for a short while  and return back to dry Montreal with a smile …This winter I felt like living in Vancouver, the place I always envied people living there during long ,dark and freezing winter seasons in Montreal.

I have to admit “though it sounds mean” I loved listening to the news and see how Canadians snow birds that escape winter and heading to sunny Florida were freezing there. 😉 .I think Florida economics will be affected in the coming years, if our winter will be so mild ,short and dry as this one!

The bottom line is that snow wished to trade places for a change and decided to hit France, England, Spain, Italy, Greece, New York, Washington even Vermont had three foot of snow and all these countries had the coldest winter ever since 3 years…And my beautiful city was like smiling proudly wondering what happened ! How could spring fever begin in February!?

This winter it was Americans concerned about listening to the weather forecasts every morning and buying boots and shovels…and we didn’t even care to listen to the Météo …Funny!

 

I began my evening long walks feeling already spring breeze and approaching summer makes my heart light with delight, I can even smile at a dog  in the street 😉

Normally before heading out for my walk I choose a song on my iPod to listen to ,it’s always chosen depending on my mood without realizing .Tonight as I walked I was listening to the song “ I Need You Now “ by Lady Antebellum ..Its number one hit this month in North America .I love the song but listening to the words, it made me think how difficult, painful and cruel to want and miss someone and how lately I felt that I need no one in my life and wish not to go in this whole  “missing someone” dilemmas anymore “. I don’t mean missing  only a  lover  here …I mean the whole missing process of missing a friend far away or someone who passed away and so on  ….” ! Tired  of this !

I feel like I’m on spring break from the outside world .These rebelling feelings began with me since January  .I don’t socialize much, I accept only strictly important invitations of very close dear friends or family .Only people who are important to me and I don’t wish them upset from my sudden inappropriate behavior !

I try as much as I can to find excuses when someone wish to join me during my walk or any other  activities. I turn off my cellular every evening. I just need no one to interrupt my  solitary mood I ‘m in right now !

It feels like the whole world is playing dodge ball, and I want to be NO part of it and my mantra became ‘Whatever’!

As fresh winds will begin to blow in a new weather pattern that enables me to reclaim the ground that I felt I lost lately. Trying to breathe in future possibilities and breathe out past setbacks as I move forward on my own.

I accept whatever are the results of this solitude mood I am in .I simply need it and enjoy it immensely. It won’t hurt to leave some things come around in its own time, keep my hands off the wheel while this ride is in motion and not to impose my brand and risk paying the price. I’ve paid my dues and have nothing to prove. Retreating and staying in my own comfort zone my home, with my sons, my activities ,my writings my painting, my  books and much more…All this is a self-renewing effort to maintain self-confidence, self-control, and independence and enjoy the art of being alone. I try to take appropriate precautions and nurture the finer things that are in tune with my needs and satisfying my senses. I might be called vane, self absorbed, egoist or narcissist?!!! My sons know I’m not and these are the only 2 persons I care about for now.

Let the results of my attitude speak for themselves. Let alone idle, trendy or high maintenance indulgences let alone lovers who don’t give back, let alone people who give you negative vibes and take your energy. I truly wish to miss no one anymore neither do I wish anyone to miss me!

I’m happy sharing time with me, moi and I! Pretending to be ignorant, deaf, blind and silent when needed. When family and friends complain from my attitude I give them my innocent look and say” OH! Me? I never meant to ignore anyone!!! I’m so sorry!!! And still walk to the beat of my own drum!

Finally spring has sprung but however I’ll still keep my smartness and I won’t pack my winter woolies or boots , maybe we’ll get another cold snap? Hopefully not !!

To end this article I have to say life is beautiful and no rush towards tomorrow, it might not be the way you expect it, so  better to enjoy today. Be happy and who cares if you are right!  Shout “hallelujah! 😉

This is the song “I need you now “;-) Enjoy ..

   G!han 18 March 2010