Just words

 When I began this article  staring at a  blank page opened   infront of me , I was listening to Didier Barbelivien ….I had no idea that I will be able to write one word! …Did he inspire me? 😉

 

 

Yes, it’s me telling everyone “If you don’t have a kind word to tell me even  when I least deserve it , PLEASE KEEP SILENT “

♥ To write an article or a poem I must have a subject to talk about …the whole process of writing is not just something that happens to me while I’m typing or putting pen to paper.

 Writing from the heart means being constantly aware of my surroundings and my inner self.  That means that what appears to be a Writer’s Block is no more than a ROAD block.  And what do we do when the road is blocked? It isn’t that I don’t have anything to say, it’s just that t he particular road I’m on RIGHT NOW… is the wrong road for me.  Today!

Anyway, what can words do?! They are nothing but words written, read and forgotten.

 
♥ What words will do when one is blind to light unaware how words can hurt more than a broken bone! 

♥What words will do when one is moved by nothing, when insensibility sits over understand!

♥What words will do if one underestimate the power of a touch, a caress ,a smile , a kind word ,a listening ear and finally a small act of caring!

♥What words can do if one doesn’t know how to make account for every idle word that hurt and doesn’t know  when to be silent!

♥What words will do if one can’t say them to mend a broken heart or make someone feel better and instead use them to tear someone and make him feel worthless!

♥What words will do if one doesn’t know how to love or know the power of these three words I love you. When one doesn’t know anymore the difference between making love and having sex or the difference between friends ,lovers and friends with benefits !

♥What words will do if one is too busy to smell morning fresh coffee, look at the vast sky, notice the  full moon , endure the beauty of the universe and reveal it!

♥What words will do if wars, hate, death, destruction, fears instability, madness and racism became endless in a disturbed world !

♥What will words do when people became judgmental, selfish, vain and impatient!

♥What will words do if relationships are becoming fruitless, disposal and finding true love is hopeless and leave us only decisiveness and untruthfulness and regrets become endless!

♥What will words do if our politics became shameless and politicians’ attitude became worthless, their mistakes Countless and their decision baseless and mindless!

Like president Obama ,his country is engaged in two wars, the oil spill is raging and the economy is tanking but still president Obama find time to appear for an hour  in a fluffy DAY TALK TV SHOW  to talk about Mel Gibson , Lohan’s jail term! While the first lady has been lambasted for her extravagance and her trips  .The  last one of 4 days to Marbella that  costs  $250.000 and will  cost American tax payers a share for her lavish life style ! Ridiculous !

 

♥What will words do if acceptance is replaced by rejection! Peace of mind replaced by worries!

♥What will words do if we forgot about God, we forgot what’s caring, sharing, listening to a beloved one whispering .We forgot when to surrender like a river when it meets the ocean…We forgot compassion, passionate kisses, infinite touch and unforgettable sweet moments!

♥What word can do if a quiet mind, new possibilities, forgivingness, faithful friends and most of all OUR DREAMS are forgotten!

♥What will words do when Love only leaves us broken hearted with scrambled messages confusion, tears, giving up and missing!

Finally but not last these simple prose’s that came to my mind when I had the least idea what to write .These prose’s and endless feelings that I meet and live through my life path . Writing this article “if you can call it an article, it doesn’t look one to me 🙂 “I didn’t have to worry about rules of forms neither about rhythms schemes, meter stanza and line. It’s true that in real life I can go on and on talking and in this blog I can go on and on writing but among my most prized possessions are words and especially words I have never spoken only very very few close  friends know this about me  ♥ 

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿ Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men’s souls, and a beautiful image it is. –Blaise Pascal ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Say a kind word or make a kind gesture to someone today! Ialready  did;-)

Tough love !

 

 

 

Lately my feelings were a mixture of stress, anxiety, there is the faint stirring of uneasiness and words unspoken as yet. Honestly I couldn’t find a reason for all my struggles and I wondered why the hell  I’m  feeling this way!!!!  Today standing in front of a shopping centre waiting  my friend to park his car, I found myself watching a young mother load up her car. First the kids with toys in their hands , followed by two toddlers . Then some packages, diapers and other bags . She looked over at me long enough to give me a piteous sigh 😉 . I gave her back a big smile as if telling her to enjoy them while they are young , within the blink of an eye she’ll  find “18” candles on their  cake!  How do years go by so fast?

 Later this same day I went for my evening daily walk  this morning scene  came back to my memory. I suddenly recognized the reason of my stress!!! I SIMPLY MISS MY BOYS.

Since the beginning of summer each one of them had his own vacation plan to different destination. When they got back between their jobs, friends, girlfriends and their summer activities I hardly saw them for days. It seemed that I had to make an appointment to see either one of them .Then both flew again across the ocean to their normal summer destination to my beloved country Egypt .  Hey! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining I understand what it is like to be “young “. How it’s fun to finish school and  to graduate  from college .We felt as if we owned the whole world .I was the one teaching them to enjoy every moment life grants, to always “dream big” and to struggle ,work hard to reach their goals and play hard too ! To  seize every oppotunity that comes their way and enjoy life to the fullest !

Neither of the two were ever to be thoughtless, on the contrary they had been and still are “perfect boys” always caring, family oriented ,working , studying hard and supportive to me when needed. Being two handsome young men now they naturally didn’t really understand why  I was worrying about them. .They stared at each other impatiently  as they are usally in a  hurry ,one of them answers “hmmm, ok mom we’ll be carefull”!… They didn’t and couldn’t understand  that this Mom had some  separation anxiety.

 Heading back home I sat on a bench and my memory suddenly went back to my very early twenties, when I can honestly say, I had loved every bit of being a Mom, not once, not even for a single second regretting the hardships that went along having always a full time job  and raising them. I wonder now how I did to adjust my life between my work and their busy scheduled without an extra free time.

 I suddenly recalled their first smile, first tooth, the first hug  and especially their tiny feet I adored .I used measure them  and write how many inches they grew 😉

I recalled  how they first crawled then they walked  and suddenly I found them running. I remember even their first bike ride ….and suddenly now you’re handing them the key to the car. O my God this was like yesterday! 

I remember tucking them in bed with a hug and a short story. In bed they used to talk to me about anything; school, friends, teachers to keep me where I am and not to sleep. I remember how much I loved playing with them, I even enjoyed the time I stayed for homework that never seemed to end .I miss their small size shoes and clothes, baking cookies, cleaning up finger-paints, and wiping noses , sitting beside their bed when they were sick .

Later when they were teens around our dinner table we discussed what we could do together on the weekend …Then my memory went to when the house was filled with their friends, I miss hearing their whispers , giggles and their  friends raiding my fridge on regular basis 😉

 …I miss driving them to scout and soccer games …I miss listening to their loud music and their cells buzzing with text messages. I even miss their beds undone and the clothes scattered all over the room … There are no shoes, schoolbooks, or sporting equipment left on the floor of the kitchen anymore  ,everything is so calm my ears hear only complete silence  !!!! My God, even the phone at home stopped  ringing  !It’s only my silly cellular that does !

I wonder now, had I been selfish having these stressful anxiety feelings since summer began? I’m totally aware it was the right thing for them to go out, travel and have fun and explore the world on their own. I will never stand in the way of the new and exciting experiences coming to them.

Well maybe this summer they are simply preparing me for their void they will leave when they soon quit the nest..?!!

  Suddenly lightning and thunder woke me up from my day dreams and I walked back home  .I open the door of the house which is clean, tidy, silent and empty.The boy’s room is left untouched, waiting for the return of their former occupants. I turn up the volume on my own music. I go to shower in  the bathroom  that remains oddly as clean as I left it .I have now my remote that I wished one day to have  in my hands , but  now I rarely  touch it or think to switch on the TV ! I go to the kitchen to make a coffee the sink clean no cups ,no plates ,no mess .I take my coffee  go to my lap top to write about my feelings  . But I suddenly found myself released from my anxiety and fears and   opened to positive aspects to cope with this new lifestyle and try to enjoy  my new freedom…I look proudly to the frame embracing their picture and I think I did a wonderful job … May God bless them and give them prosperity; health; success and plenty of kids that will one day fill my life again … I will always be there for them when they need me as well that I’m 100% sure they will be there for me when needed  …..

I’m suddenly asking myself now why I turned off my friend invitation to go to the country this coming week end….? No! I will go …we’ll swim in the pool, laugh, talk ,go for  long walks and drink Sangria with lot of ice 😉 …..I still feel young 😉 even younger than both of them  . ILOVE LIFE and as I always said that life doesnt have to be perfect to be just wonderful…..Being the happy woman I am  I will never take all the beautiful things life offers me for granted .I will enjoy everyday, every minute ” la joie de vivre” is priceless ….and seeing you happy my sons  will always be my joy !I  will still enjoy the little time you give me and maybe once in a while we’ll share the three of us a dinner table again to laugh, tease each other and recall the happy time we had and still have MY FRIENDS 😉 

I will finally dedicate this article to the best accomplishments of my life, MY TWO BOYS.I won’t let them read it now but they surely will one day …Enjoy your youth and life and I will forever love you  …

 

 “It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams